Friday, May 25, 2018

VHS Review: Slow Normals "realmagic666FM" [PART 6]

$15 //
Edition of 13 // //

Now I see a bed, but the same eternal questions are being asked.  Is this a hotel room?   Whirrs like dirtbikes come through in rhythm now.   We appear to be touring this place which seems to not be a hotel.  Oh, look a walk in closet.   The sounds almost feel like hip hop because of the way they start to sing.   We get some of that black and white static but we're still on a tour of this house, which includes a wallsafe by the way.    I like the tile in the bathroom though.    This garage is a mess though.  What is all this junk?

The music whirrs back in as if a spacecraft is taking off.    Bicycles!   I'm not really sure if homie in the blue is showing off their own house or if it's like this guided tour through the house of a serial killer.  "This is where he kept all the bodies..."   The frequencies feel like a storm now and we're looking at things for a baby and an exercise bike-- one of those ones that doesn't move and you just pedal to nowhere.    And now there is a glass sign that says someone is a lawyer.   This is all so bizarre.   Look at that hot water heater!

Video game destruction glitch is how the music takes a turn now.   Whirrs circle through the black and white static as colors try and come through.   There are words on the screen but I cannot make them out, the tape is too distorted.    Laser shots blast through space now.  It appears as if the image is of a half naked woman posing on a bed and though the image moves she does not.   Very retro space-like sounds now with some guy's face on the screen.  It feels like a news report and could be about the aliens finally landing to destroy us all.

Rap comes through about "I got cocaine" now and these beats are huge plus a live drumkit.   Is this sampled from something or is this a Slow Normals original?  It's quite cool and the bass gets funky.   We're looking at maybe a priest or something now too.   Ok, the names going through as credits now definitely give this away as Monty Python.   If you ever go to a thrift store (I prefer Savers) you will find a lot of random Monty Python VHS tapes and sometimes even sets but never complete or in the right order.  It's always like "The Best Of" but they only have volumes 9, 13 and 14.
This bass and drum combination is getting funky still, but it's really distorted bass and it's just playing so well together it makes me feel kind of like it doesn't match the video but who am I to say.   Two guys appear to be talking as the music is breaking down.   Is this woman bowling?  No, she looks like a tattoo.   A violent cello sound comes through next but the drums are still here so perhaps the same musical piece as from before.  I keep feeling like I'm seeing glimpses of 9/11 spliced in here.   Now we hear some sax for that freaky free style jazz.

And now people are swearing because I feel like their song got ruined by the ringing of a cellphone.  Deep bass sludge rock comes in next and we're watching a video from Tommy Boy, you know the rap label.   It's talking about non-stop dance music while the rock music grinds out over it.   It said MTv and now MC Hammer, Vanilla Ice, Digital Underground and I even think Depeche Mode.  There are a lot of good names floating through here-- I kind of want to see this video now, as the guitar gets all bluesy.    Oh, this appears to be an ad for a compilation without video-- it says to get it on cassette.   Haha, bring it on!!

Club Mtv Party To Go got up and went.   Sega!   No, wait, it says LP, cassette, CD and home video.   Damn, they weren't messing around.   If I find someone who owns that compilation on all four formats we will instantly become best friends.   Now we're watching "Cops" with thrash electronics over it and it's uncensored because the guy held down on the ground was not edited.   I believe the Club Mtv Party To Go before is Volume 1, as there are different volumes apparently, and now we're watch Cops: Too Hot For TV!  Didn't you just love these videos back in the day- like with Jerry Springer- where'd they release the things they couldn't show on tv?   Now you can own what was once $19.95 for a dollar or less.

This really feels like something you'd watch late at night as you go from an infomercial feel to now "Cops"... We just need to wake up in the morning and watch whatever is on at like 6 or 7 am.   I remember when they used to play Saved by the Bell on TBS that early.  I'd watch it before school.  That was cool.    Now this guy's face has a sort of white mask over it like a skeleton.   And that woman hiding the bathtub is naked.   She's attacking that guy hahahaha.

Electronics drift out and then come to a close.  We're looking at a city in black and white, shades of orange and red, as the music feels as if we are dropping off of one of them.   Now there is traffic and the music, that soft rumble of feedback, gains some beeping.    Why is that guy walking in the street?  This has a heavy drone set now.   Ambient tones come through as we are taken to the country and a bridge.   Not sure who this guy in the glasses is but he looks important.    This could be the same jazzercise as from before but I'm just sad it's not Richard Simmons.    It's definitely a woman with yoga pants and a sports bra but when I was a kid I used to think Richard Simmons was a woman so I have no real sense of gender anyway.

Why are all these women smiling?  Is it because they lost weight with this workout plan?  This is so weird and fake feeling.   I'm waiting for the screen to say "Not an actor".    The exercise is coming through in slow motion.    This is the dawning of some new exercise now.  From the ashes, rise the exercisebots.   This could actually make for a rather terrifying movie: "She's getting her life together by getting back in shape... no one can stop her... she's got a Starbucks coffee and would like to speak with your manager".    This cuts off as someone is pointing at something and we switch to blue screen which I do believe means we have reached the end. 

Cassette Review: Woody Murder Mystery "Lost in Beacaire" (Freemount Records)

€6 //
Edition of 50 //

What is a Woody Murder Mystery?  On one hand, it makes me think that the cowboy from Toy Story has been killed and all of the other toys from that movie must join forces to find out who did it, but I doubt that would ever fly at Disney because they only kill off family members.    It could just imply something in the woods and while this music does have a getting lost in the woods feel to it I'm not sure how much it feels like murder.

Woody Murder Mystery is a good psychedelic name for a band though.  Like Jefferson Airplane.   And this music does fit along those lines to an extent as well.  I definitely could imagine Woody Murder Mystery as having played the original Woodstock based upon their sound.    Elements of this remind me of The Beatles but there is also hints of The Doors, Cream and Joe Cocker.   A lot of this music is just hopping onto that organ wave and seeing where you can ride it.

At its core, this is rock music.  Bands like Silversun Pickups and High Pop come to mind in a more modern sense.    But it definitely has this trippy feel to it and I dare to even go so far as to say that fans of jam bands like The Grateful Dead would want to rock this one.   It's just difficult to place because while it has a distinct and often times more than not feeling of classic rock (see: the 1960's) it also has elements of the modern psych-garage scene which gives Woody Murder Mystery their own unique trip.

While most of these songs have words some of them are instrumental and through the instrumental ones I prefer to just let the instruments do the talking.   There are spoken word parts for songs instead of singing as well and if you didn't know Woody Murder Mystery is from France (via their Bandcamp page) and as such some of these lyrics are in French but I don't think that they all are. 

Sometimes these songs paint scenes to a movie.   It is a movie that has not yet been made, so I can't quite tell you exactly what the movie is, but it is one defined by its soundtrack.   For some reason I almost immediately think of "Pulp Fiction" in the sense that it was such an iconic film and yet at the same time it carried this nearly as iconic soundtrack.   There are certain songs you hear and they just remind you of "Pulp Fiction" (or other Tarantino films)   I feel like that's the case with this Woody Murder Mystery cassette except these songs are from a movie not yet made and that makes them all the more intriguing.


Music Review:
"The Hole in The Landscape"
(NNA Tapes) //
🎧 //

We begin with this dark ringing with a back and forth glass tone vibe.  It definitely starts off right away as if we're fallen into a hole in the landscape.    Louder, somewhat upbeat tones come through now with these whirrs behind them.    There is some trill as well here.    A strong feeling of space suspense fills this first song.   What happens next has the distorted ringing mixed with that whirrs which begins to sound more like an electronic slug to me and this just paints the picture of an electronic symphony. 

I feel like I have heard similar sounds to these before, but never together and not in such a way as these present themselves when combined.   Behind these sounds, as they fade, comes what sounds like groans and then this soft piano part with the destruction and drift into a void filled with other damned souls.   This is heavy, but not like heavy metal.    It sounds like doors are closing and there is just this overall feel to the first song of being trapped on a planet which is not your own and yet it isn't like my normal references of "Lost In Space" or even "Land of the Lost"-- this has a much more serious vibe to it such as "The Thing" or one of the "Alien" movies.

Hitting that tom drum starts the next song.   What sounds like horns but feels like some sort of alien creature ripples through.  There are other rattling sounds and this feels like that cantina band in Star Wars to me.    What sound to me like an accordian but might just be some electronic strings breathe into this musical life before everything turns into this full on jungle beat.    As everything slows down, it picks right back up with this climbing vibe and then turns into a slower electronic rhythm but still carries itself in a rather electronic jungle vibe.   These sounds-- there is a lot going on here, but when combined they just create something so magical.

What feels most like wooden wind chimes comes out in this flurry here.   Louder strings open up the next song.    It has a sitar feel to it.   Other sounds which join in give it that sound from China perhaps.    Bouncy strings come in as tones drop like bombs in some sort of wonderful video game.   I will note that this third track is a shining example as to why you should listen to this with earbuds as well, because you can truly hear the sounds jump from ear to ear, which is not as easily captured through speakers.

The title track comes through with these skips where it sounds like a heartbeat.  I'm pretty sure there are some ah's in here, even if only computer generated, and then this thing just goes crazy with the frequencies shifting as well.    Strings come through and then what can only be described as darkness follows.    This all came in so fast and heavy and leaves me feeling naked when it is gone.  "Instant Granite" comes in with what sound most like bells to me but could be some wooden wind instruments and I'm thinking of Sarah Hennies.  It also appears to have this synth coming through which kind of resembles a saxophone to me.  Beats join in now as well.

Whirrs go flying through like a robot and this takes on a calm, video game in a sense as well.   It feels like something set in space still, sure, but there is less of a feeling of terror and more like we're just joyriding.   Scratching like a metal detector comes through as well.    This leads to some creaking.    The whirrs intensify like Tron.    "False Awakening" has these bubbles in it with what sounds like harmonica drone.     Scratching, like inside a lightbulb, comes out now as well.   There is this tension, this pulling within this song.    It grows fairly eerie now, as electronics come through like insects.   This really deep synth comes through with this sharp ringing to end out this track and it all makes me feel like I'm finally returning to the abyss.

Sharpness like horns mixed with the trill of ringing- some sort of ringtone perhaps, but also it could just as easily be some sort of alarm- and this is joined by other ohms, rattles and shakes.   There is a rhythm to this again, though it feels like one of those songs that sounds like it has a lot of percussion in it but is being made with other elements-- non-traditional instruments.   Singing is sampled in here now, but it is somewhat hidden in the background.   

The last song begins with these horns which come through at different times but only slightly overlap and it gives you a trippy vibe.   There is a sound behind them as well which sounds like a voice but I'm pretty sure is not.   It's like someone took an electronic song- something from Psycho Disco perhaps- chopped it up and played it back at a different pace so it's not just that traditional oonce oonce beat coming through.   Yet, this whole thing makes me feel kind of funny, like I'm taking in too much at once, you know?  I feel like these sounds are more traditionally spread out and here they all come out at once and it can feel overwhelming. 

That is a good way to describe this album though.   It can feel overwhelming at first, but the more you listen to it, the more your mind can adjust to it.   The best way I can describe this is that sometimes when I'm listening to music on my laptop through Windows Media Player, for example, a link will open to YouTube and that video will start playing so I'll have those two different songs going at once.   And then an ad on Photobucket will create a third layer.   And so on.    So it's like these songs on top of songs, but Tsembla has managed to do it in such a way that it feels only natural.

Music Review:
Sonny Elliot
"Under Covers"

I'm not really sure what other people do when it comes to reviews because I don't really go to other sites and see what they say about music.   Some people find that strange but it's just who I am.  I spend a decent amount of time though researching a new artist when I hear them for the first time, mainly because I want to know what they're about.  People (sometimes even the artist themselves) might send me a link straight to Bandcamp or their own website but I'll still do a search just to see what else is out there because it's part of being a writer I guess.

If you google Sonny Elliot- whether you do so with one or two t's- you will stumble upon a lot of articles about a weatherman from Detroit.    The fact that sites about Sonny Elliot and the "Under Covers" EP don't come up right away intrigues me, as it feels like we have to do some digging to get to the bottom of this (Though a Bandcamp search will take you to this EP no problem)   In some weird way, I feel like this is a sign of things to come on this EP, for the sound of Sonny Elliot.

"Under Covers" as a title makes me think less of someone sleeping and more of this being a collection of cover songs but alas these are four originals from Sonny Elliot.    The titular track is blissed out dreamy rock which has lyrics that make you sing along on the second listen and, well, in that way it does feel like a cover as it's one of those instantly likeable songs it just makes you feel like you've heard it before.

"Without You" reminds me more of Madonna somehow and though it is dark (hence the title) is doesn't fail to crank out that sax, which I find to simply be cool.    "One Day With You", which is interesting in contrast to the title which came before it, brings out these dreamy guitar riffs ala Duncan Sheik or The Cure (Think "Whenever I'm alone... with you...")   Although, in fairness, the song "One Day With You" seems like a love song, obviously, but also a sort of tragic love song.    So it is, much like the song before it, somewhat dark and sad.

"Hold On" could easily be a Wilson Phillips cover but it has a much darker feel, as he admits he's not letting go.    That smooth sax also returns in this final song and this just has so much diversity to it and yet at the same time it doesn't.   It's dreamy rock with the occasional saxophone, but much like Sonny Elliot the musical artist and Sonny Elliott the weatherman, there are such differences.    It's that idea that even as those "Stranger Things" sounding synth tones come out at the end, you may never truly know this music.

Thursday, May 24, 2018

Cassette Review:
Dane Rousay
(Already Dead Tapes)

$5 //
Edition of 60 // //

A lone drum beat begins this cassette.  A cymbal crashes.   The percussion begins to do what percussion does: creates a rhythm.   It's banging.  It's loud.  If I had to put other instruments with the percussion, I would say it feels jazz-based.   Cymbal slides and it feels like we're banging on buckets here.   This has managed to start as one single drum and blossom into a full on rager with moments of chaos.  I also picture this as an isolated drum track- like back when studios would record each member of a band one at a time- but this definitely can stand on its own legs.   It doesn't need any other sounds.

Windchimes slowly bring out sounds of bells, but they are glass and hollow.   This has calmed down since the percussion but is still intense.   There is a ringing like a cash register.   Every strike to these bells precise and vital.   A back and forth now, as if a shaking.   Cymbals come out now as if they are winds washing over waves.   I suppose if you were at the beach and there was this calm of the wind and waves it could be rather relaxing, therapeutic, and yet these sounds are made with cymbals.    It really just goes to show you what percussion can truly do.

Cymbal skips and gongs bring about this feeling as if you are walking down the street with someone following you.   Your pace has to quicken, as the music does.    Drum rolls make this feel frantic and I'm not sure what's going on now but it would fit over a movie from the Hitchcock library rather well I would imagine.   A steady dinging comes out with the rhythm of the drums now and I nod my head along because it is infectious.   As this is the third track here, I feel as if in some ways it has combined the elements of the first two because there is that dinging/tapping onto a glass (or bells perhaps) type of sound mixed with that fast paced jazz drumming.

Drum rolls pick right up on the flip side.  A steady, rapid fire assault.   It has this very mechanical feel to it and though there is more than one drum stick here (and cymbal crashes show up) it has that urgency of someone tapping a pen against a desk.   It has that feeling where someone could get annoyed by it, but at the same time it's all just rhythm and that is what drives music.    I also feel like those who get upset over pen tapping in movies and television are already under a lot of stress to begin with so it just makes things worse, where as if you're listening to this you can find the rhythm comforting on some level.

Steel drum sounds build up and take us to a tribal place.  Cymbal crashes come in and this music begins to ride like a horse in the Kentucky Derby.   In that way, this makes me feel almost as if Dane Rousay could be creating sounds to be used on an old radio program, before the advent of television.   As the drums bang on through I wonder if they can acoustic or more importantly what that idea of them would be calling as this has a similar feel to it though not entirely.   Sticks are hit together and if you don't hear the horses going off to the races then you must live a life without Bugs Bunny in it.

Is that a horn now or the screeching of a string?  There is a definite scraping sound going on.  It feels like the intro to a Nirvana song and then some drums come in.   I wonder if Dane Rousay would ever cover that song from "Doug" where the words were all "Banging on a trash can..."   These drum rolls are heavy and I'm not sure how this is possible, how a human can do it.  Everything comes to a crash and those strings return, almost like a bee and yet almost like the cries of some wounded animal.    The drums return for one last run and then this sound as if the top of the case had been closed on them brings it all to an end.

If I were to simply tell you that Dane Rousay was a drummer and I believe all of the sounds on here to have been made by percussion you might think that it would lack something.   In fact, if you told me that I would think it rather absurd- a drummer with no other instruments?   I've heard just about every instrument by itself but I do believe drums (and bass guitar) are the only ones I haven't until now.   You can say that drums need to accompany another instrument, but on "DIVIDE", Dane Rousay says otherwise.

VHS Review: Slow Normals "realmagic666FM" [PART 5]

$15 //
Edition of 13 // //

As we watch another movie, a loop says something about Fruit Rollups (I think).   Now a kid is chasing a card and so is a crane.    This just turned into a fight or a really bad moshpit.   We are quieter now, more relaxed tones and back underwater- or at least we see fish, so maybe just an aquarium.   Jazzercise now.  This is hypnotic.    And now it is frozen with the glitching loops doing their thing.   It's the Dodge summer clearance event.   A woman who is not a racecar driver is in a pit like racecar drivers go to and she seems confused and scared.   Ringing comes through heavy now as someone is being struck by fireworks and falling down.

The way the static just bursts through with the singing, guitars and visuals of aliens and humans is just all too real.  It's not just that there is an image of the screen now which reminds me of "Quantam Leap" for some reason (Even though I'm pretty sure there is a naked lady in here too) the music which goes with it is just so perfect, so fitting.    The music becomes wavy now, choppy through greens and blues.    A Native American is staring me down now.   The whirrs become electric.    It sounds like babies crying and these images turn red, orange as they could feed your nightmares.

A lot of these visuals have become of destruction, but there is also an eclipse.   The music comes to a stop as there is a man walking into somewhere now - perhaps a hotel- and a newer, louder sound comes out.  This other guy is leading the man around and it looks like a factory tour, but the red coat makes me think hotel.   They're outside now.  This is a weird movie clip, wherever it's from.   Oh.  So this guy who is leading the tour has a hook for a hand.  That's something.  He's feeding gators as the music glitches on through in a broken printer way.   It is also fairly harsh.    Someone is talking about custody.

Harsh static glitching coming through now as we are staring at what looks like a farm.    A plane is flying now in slow motion but it is going upwards so I'm hoping/thinking it's not 9/11 again.  How many times have I typed "9/11" in this review?  People seem to be marching as the rock guitar glitches into this vocal loop that may or may not be saying "hunger strike".    A robotic voice loops now in a song which says something like "just do it" but not that exactly.   Now hands are turning nobs.    We grow much more mechanical now, grinding even as we get into this darker green image.   Though the title "Killers From Space" is now coming in and that totally seems like a B Movie I would watch.

This movie is moving in super slow motion now.   Now this guy has a sweet mustache.  Is this that Right Said Fred video?  No.  I can kind of hear the singing but can't make out what it is, but it's been chopped up nicely.  It sounds like the B-52's but doesn't look like them... I think.   Now it's showing us how to play guitar.   This is really out there.  Like watching Mtv in the middle of the night back when they actually played music videos.  And, you know, on acid.    Next we appear to see a bartender and this "uh" goes on a loop.    More into a video game loop now. 

Beats build and we're back into the softcore porn of the 1990's.   Of course it's glitching the images and kids today will never know about how you could mess with your receiver and get scrambled premium channels.   Why are those snow dogs pulling that guy? The whirrs are on a glitching loop here.   Hip hop is mixed in now.    The news wishes us a Merry Christmas and one of them says they'll be off tomorrow.   Synthwave comes through with destructive pianos now.   You can see someone singing into a microphone mixed in with all of this.

This begins looping in a way which might make you seasick and the images are of people but I'm not certain why they're talking to each other.   What is this guy doing in front of this chalkboard with his crazy talking all jumbled up?  It feels like church but also it's in a classroom.   I'm pretty sure he just said "an addiction to pornography".   He wants to know that once you've seen everything a man and woman can do together what do you do next.   It sounds like he's run out of good ideas for how to watch his porn.   And just like that the whirrs bring us into breast exams.    A breastfeeding mother now.

Hardcore glitching brings out old footage of Paula Poundstone.   Why do I recognize her so quickly?  I blame "Home Movies".    And just like that we're learning about circles.    This is twirling ribbons.   There is a name for this in school but I don't know what it is because I also don't really care.   Now a sped up ninja fight scene.  A dog as well for some reason.   It's like Power Rangers but not so I will say VR Troopers?   And now an incredibly warped Dru Hill video.   This is a really rather awkward slowdance.    It's telling me to adjust my tracking now and then it automatically adjusted itself.

Softer beats now, calmer rhythms.  Stretched out vocals bring out the true vaporwave.  What are these guys doing in this office like setting?   This guy keeps getting ushered back to his desk.  I imagine his name is Jerry and the boss guy is like "Bad Jerry! Back to your own workspace!" but that might just be due to "Rick and Morty" because I suppose he could just as easily be a Kevin.   And in walks this guy with the giant hat on that we originally saw some odd hours ago.   It's the office party.    Beats loop now, somewhat destructive and some of these images cannot be made out with them, I just think of them as being colors.

This is going on for a while now and I'm really spacing out while watching it.   We're scrolling through images with beats on loops.    I feel like one of these images is a skeleton in a cowboy hat and there's this green ball in the center of it all.  This visual is also on a loop with the music.    The music stops and the images look like 9/11 (sorry) and then a computer voice says "Can you hear me?" and begins talking about Africa.   Was that Jack The Ripper?  Now computer voice is asking the big questions: "Why are we here?" "Where did we come from?"  This is surreal.

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

VHS Review: Slow Normals "realmagic666FM" [PART 4]

$15 //
Edition of 13 // //

This is a really nice collab and it seems so lucky that Slow Normals was able to find this video clip to play along with.    Somehow we are now into a fake cowboy show.  I say fake cowboy because there is this guy sitting on a couch playing a guitar and wearing a cowboy hat.  A girl sits next to him and another girl sits on the floor watching the fake cowboy.  Another guy sits by himself on another couch, but why does the one girl sit on the floor?  A true cowboy would not allow such things.   These vocals are really tripping me out but I'm pretty sure they called that girl Rachel.  It is also FEB. 21, 2004 now.

Fake cowboy is also wearing sunglasses inside.   Rachel stands up- at her friend's urging- and begins singing along to some country song.  I have no idea what if going on here but I hope all of these people are drunk for their sake.   And now Rachel is just swearing a lot and jumping around.  Her friend said "Good job, Rachel" and I feel like MST3K saying, "Oh, don't encourage her" to the tv.   Watching these videos is like when I look at photos of other people on Facebook: I rarely pay attention to the person and look more as to what is in their surroundings.

I'm pretty sure Rachel just tried to kiss the other girl and then said "She'll never love me" to close out that part.   We switch to a party on MAR. 7, 2004 now.  It is 2:00 AM so the time might be wrong but who knows.   They're basically kids (college or high school age) sucking on balloons.  I want to feel like all of these visuals under "FACESWAP" came from the same collection of VHS tapes- the same family perhaps- but I just don't know... I don't know what to make of anything any more after seeing how other humans behave.  This guy is also wearing a shirt that says The Gap.   Though now another boy is dressed in drag and this is getting good.   He looks like he could be legal.

A split second of a band rehearsal and now screwed vocals bring back the vaporwave as we see someone riding a sailing bike on their stomach?  We're back to flipping channels.   The MGM lion logo.  Pringles.  A firetruck.   The birthday song.  Why is the birthday girl wearing a thong and the guy taping her is getting her from that angle?  This is highly inappropriate but the matching msuic is cool.  Most of these guys are nearly naked and they're clapping.  Ooooooohhh maybe this is a porn birthday party.   We keep glitch looping with the music and visuals but I'm pretty sure the "FACESWAP" time is over.

And the word improv just came out of a toaster.   So we're doing this, huh?    Nope, guess not.   Someone is explaining something- giving instructions- over a lot of green.   The voice is of course manipulated.   Oh.  Now I can see her in blue.  A man with a plane and a fan.  It says it's mindblowing and now it's showing cassettes.   Something about mineral water.  A lot of floating heads.   Snowboards and Pee Wee Herman is looking inside of his freezer.  The word of the day is "playhouse".   We're back to the porno birthday party and I'm pretty sure she just started sucking some guy.  Swimming with the cassette.   I do enjoy these old cassette commercials perhaps more than I should.

It's like a trippy Sound of Music now.  Everyone is dancing, the static is skipping and the colors... Oh, the colors.   And now a commercial for a laser disc player because why not.   There is singing and I think this is a Bollywood film now.   This looks like a music video.  It has people playing instruments- a guitar, bass, sax- and there are drums and a keyboard near them but there are also credits and then a cop opens up the garage door as if to tell them they're making too much noise.   A movie or television show perhaps, it goes by too quickly for me to know and now we're into something about rap that has a young Dr. Dre in it.

McDonalds.  Breakdancing.  KRS-ONE.    A movie or television show now with a kid crying and it's so manipulated it sounds so weird.   It's definitely trippy.  I think I've used the word "trippy" at least a thousand times in this review so far.   Static skips in a nice rhythm.   Clouds, a building and sex under the covers.   This guy overslept.   He does look like a fairly familiar actor from the 1980's but I just can't place him.  I will likely see this movie one day and it will all make sense.  It will feel like deja vu.    He's yelling about inbred assholes.  I like his vest.  He beeps his horn a lot but the sounds are manipulated so it kind of drones on. 

So this guy woke up late, was following people he got road rage at, then they stopped at the same place, three of them got out of the truck and start smashing his car with him inside, all under the hues of blue and green.   They have a truck now which seems like it's going to crush his car with him in it.   This guy looks a bit like William Katt from "The Greatest American Hero".   The truck just drives off and now we're into a different clip where someone needs mouth to mouth.   A woman in blue is glitching hard next to some guy.   Whirrs come through in waves.    We seem to have froze now on a cheeseburger.  I think we're back to the movie now and she called him "TJ" but this isn't "TJ Hooker".  Now he's going mad, destroying everything in his garage.    We've switched over to singing and what appear to be still photos presented as a slideshow now.

I do enjoy this music over this photo slide show but some of these photos are just plain creepy.    Blue and green and red stripes now.  Destruction.  Whenever I see a cloud of smoke in this vidoe I think 9/11.   It's a music video inside a picture frame now- someone is playing the guitar and singing such as in a studio- and then the music itself seems to be combining with this.   The whirrs and 1980's rock.   It sounds like someone is chanting "madness".   The singing in that sense doesn't go along with David Cassidy or whoever is singing here.   A sax now and this man is pointing at me.   Everything begins moving in fast forward and then it stops and this cartoon is likely "Jem" now. 

Moulin Rouge.  I can hear the music now of what I'm still assuming to be Jem.  Someone in a sweater is talking about God and I can't see his face but I bet he's Joel Osteen.  As his face comes through clearer (as clear as it will get) I don't think he is Joel.  There is this man on the street type of segment asking people how they describe God and then static skips come through as some guy is in a studio trying to sell something.   A commercial for Pepcid AC now and this woman is glitching hard.  This is how tv should be.   The stock report now.  And a news report about someone starting an "anti-Santa crusade".   Ummm... And they admit now they've gone too far.  Ahahahahaha.